Of Violet Twilight
by Gokugurl
Summary: :: -- PART FOUR -- :: Having lost his only sunshine, Konzen, Son Goku is taken in by Sanzo, his savior. Bonded by the passion they once shared, the two find themselves falling in love all over again. SanzoxGoku+Homura, GojyoxHakkai [Sequel to OGE]
1. Lost Memories

**Of Violet Twilight**

**#1 – Lost Memories**

_By Gokugurl A.K.A Kimie_

Dark eyelids fluttered open, revealing enigmatic, beautiful orbs of radiant golden. Those luminous citrine eyes were dull, glazed as they looked out upon Togenkyo, taking in the brilliant view of the sunset as it dipped below the sky-streaked horizon. What remained of the sunlight shone through the bars, and he reached out one clawed hand, trying to grasp the rays of sunshine before they dissipated completely. 

But of course, he couldn't do so, and the particles of light vanished as the sun disappeared under the horizon, engulfing him in a world of darkness as the crimson-golden sky turned to one of dark amethyst, illuminated by stars.

Goku hugged himself tightly, his golden eyes brimming with tears, as he buried his face in his folded arms. Gazing beyond the horizon, he watched as the silver moon emerged, but he turned away, shutting his citrine orbs. No, the moon wasn't the sun – no matter how bright it was, no matter how beautiful it was. 

The sunlight was different...it held warmth, comforting warmth it was as it always embraced his skin with its touch. The moon was cold; it was beautiful, yes, but the silver radiance that it emitted was arctic, a bitter light that sent chills down his neck whenever night came. 

Goku snuggled up to the unwelcome yet comforting coldness of the rock wall, and he sighed, his petite lips curving into a sad smile as one single tear ran down his cheek. He remembered...dark pools of perplexing amethyst, deep violet that gleamed of the lavender of a thousand sunsets, brilliant lavender that were filled with care, warmth, affection, love. Love. Love, for him. Only him. Oh, how he longed to gaze into those violet orbs again – those violet orbs that he had known and loved all his life. 

And the beautiful, divine golden hair that shone uncannily like the sun. The silken strands of blonde that was so familiar, yet so distant. The sun. The russet-haired child didn't have the faintest idea when was the last time he had seen the sun. He stared blankly down at his shackled hands; the hands that had been shackled for a reason that he couldn't remember, a crime that he didn't remember. 

He held a vague memory in his heart; a beautiful, shimmering memory of what he had deemed his sunlight, but even as he struggled to hold on to it, the gleaming piece of his heart began to gradually fade away, little by little as Time began to move in slow, steady steps, taking what remained of that one memory away with Her.

But then, now...he couldn't even remember whom they belonged to. 

The young, golden-eyed heretic looked up at the sky, whispering his weeping woes to the moon as it, in turn, looked down upon him, bathing his soul, his heart in silver light. Another tear escaped, cascading down his pale, delicate cheek, trailing a wet path down that smooth skin. Yes, he didn't remember. But he had remembered other things. Words, for instance. A distant promise that his sun, whoever it was, had once made. A promise that he knew was eternal. The promise that had been etched forever on his heart, carved onto his soul – his only reason for living.

_"Aishiteru, Goku. Wait for me, I'll come back for you..."_

He remembered, vaguely, his sun whispering those silent words of promise to him, in the husky, dark voice laced with love for him, for Goku. And he had remembered those few last words that his sunshine had uttered to him, the last few words before that sunshine slipped away, forever, from his grasp.

_"I swear I will. No matter how long it takes me, no matter who I will be...I will love you forever. And I will come back for you."_

Goku smiled, for once, and closed his eyes, allowing the silver moonlight to embrace his being as he drifted off to beloved siesta. 

_Someday..._

****

"Someday," Goku murmured, rolling over on his _futon, _and one leg landed squarely on what he supposed, unconsciously, was a pillow. "Someday..." 

_"BAKASARU!"_

There was a loud thwack, a few muffled yells and what was, shuffling of the blankets as a steely harisen brought itself down upon Goku's unfortunate head. The said adolescent rubbed his throbbing scalp, clutching the tender spot in pain as he looked up indignantly at the person who had just created a bump on his head, and quailed as furious violet orbs locked with his own golden ones.

"You bloody idiot!" The blonde yelled at him, his eyes flashing with annoyance as he shoved Goku off him and his _futon_. [_Futon _= the Japanese mattress that they sleep on, I think] "Get the fuck off me!" Goku immediately obliged, especially when he saw the blonde's fingers tighten around the _harisen _again. The shorthaired youth scrambled off the _futon _almost instantly, a sheepish grin gracing his features as his golden eyes fixated upon his guardian's pools of amethyst.

"_Gomen, gomen, _[Sorry, sorry] Sanzo," he said, sweat dropping as he scratched his head absent-mindedly. The black leather-clad monk that was Sanzo glared down at him, a cold and furious look that promised immediate death, and Goku gulped as he backed away, trying to grin even as Sanzo bombarded him with a string of curses. "You can go and fucking die for all I care," he muttered, shooting Goku another Look™, before proceeding to fold his _futon._ The grin was automatically wiped off his childish face, to be replaced with a sulky pout.

"_Mou_, _kechi _[Meanie]," Goku mumbled, settling himself down in the wooden chair, his gaze averting to the still sleeping Gojyo that was snoring – very loudly, may he add – on the other _futon _on the other side of the room. Hakkai wasn't there, which probably explained the empty and already-made bed. 

Goku groaned considerably as he recalled the game of poker last night – Hakkai had won the bed for the nth time in a week, after managing to get a Royal Flush last night. And as usual, Goku was the worst loser of all, managing to only have two of a kind. Gojyo had gotten a Full House, whereas Sanzo had succeeded to bag a Straight Flush. But of course, a Straight Flush was no match for the Royal Flush, which was why the three losers had ended up on the less-than-comfortable _futons._

Well, it _had _been a few months since they had last had any problems on their journey to the west...Goku's gaze trailed over the sleeping _gokiburi_ [cockroach]on the bed, and snorted as Gojyo emitted another rude snore.  

Sanzo ignored him, and threw the folded up _futon _at Gojyo, who grunted as the soft bundle connected with his face. "Oi, wake up, _kappa!" _the golden-haired beauty snarled. Sanzo stood up, allowing the beige robes that were his to fall disdainfully to the ground, and Goku felt his breath catch in his chest in its wake. Feeling his heart thump considerably against his chest, the teenager swallowed as he tried, and failed, to tear his eyes away from his guardian. 

And for good reason - without the pale robes that usually adorned his lean, lanky form, Sanzo was _hot. _And he _meant _hot. Clad in naught but the smooth black leather top that hugged his chest like a second skin, and the more-than-ragged jeans that clung to his long – and not to mention seductive – legs, his shoulders and neck were bare, exposing the pale porcelain skin that was Sanzo's. 

And of course, it didn't help that the blonde's face was just as equally perfect – having high cheekbones and features that had been most likely carved by the greatest master; piercing, beautiful orbs of dark amethyst; beautiful silken strands of gold that seemed to have been woven from sunshine and the moon's rays, with a touch of silver starlight, Sanzo was, for all he was, a Sex God.

_Why am I feeling this way?_

Sanzo frowned, when Goku made no whining or remark whatsoever. He whirled around, only to find the teenager looking blankly into space, at something that was beyond the window, before walking over to Goku, waving one gloved hand in front of the young adolescent several times, failing to draw the youth's attention.

Goku blinked once, twice, before turning an adorable shade of crimson, looking away, his face burning. 

_Ack._

He quickly scrambled off the _futon, _and bolted out of the door, leaving a very much confused, and perplexed, Sanzo behind him.

****

Throughout breakfast, Goku avoided Sanzo's eyes, although he did continue to bicker with Gojyo as usual, continuing their argument yesterday about what was more important in life; women or food. "How many times must I tell you, _bakasaru_?" Gojyo muttered exasperatingly. "Guys can't live without sex!" Goku narrowed his eyes, taking advantage of Gojyo's frustration to steal another spring roll from the _kappa's_ plate. 

Hakkai shrugged, his usual happy-go-lucky smile plastered on his beautiful face. "_Yare, yare," _he said cheerfully, feeding Hakuryuu a scrap of meat. "Looks like Gojyo can't survive without his wild, raging hormones, ne, Hakuryuu?" Hakkai said a matter-of-factly, and Hakuryuu _kyuu_ed in response as it munched down the food with considerable gratitude.

Gojyo, still lecturing the young urchin about how the daily activities of sex could lengthen your lifeline **[A/N: Yeah _riiight..._]** didn't even notice as Goku, as quick as lightning, snagged another croquette. "And as for – hey, aren't you listening, _saru!?" _Gojyo snapped, bending down to continue his meal, only to find that there wasn't, well, _anything_ left on his plate.

And, as we had all expected and had been waiting for, the usual brawl between the monkey and the kappa broke out, drawing one too many unwanted stares towards their direction as they stood up to bicker yet again.

"Why, you _bakasaru!"_

"Who are _you _calling a bakasaru, you perverted kappa!?"

"Who else? You thieving, good-for-nothing idiot monkey!"

"Oh yeah? You're a...a horny sex-minded slut of a water monster who can't even _swim!"_

That was, for Gojyo, a rather stinging insult. 

"Well, you are - "

A vein popped out on Sanzo's forehead, and before you could say _shoureijyuu, _two shots resonated through the air as the _Smith and Wesson's _spat once, twice, and Goku and Gojyo ducked under the table. After what seemed like 5 seconds, they re-emerged from under the table, and cringed as they saw two bullets in the wall where their heads once were but a few seconds ago. Both quailed as Sanzo stood up, and both heard the _click _of the trigger as the blonde aimed it at them.

"One more word, and you die."

They obliged, returning to eat what remained of their breakfast in silence. Goku couldn't help but glance at Sanzo from the corner of his eye, and sighed in relief as Sanzo's gaze was focused on somewhere else. And tried to ignore the thumping feeling in his chest.

_Why am I feeling this way?_

****

Goku sighed, collapsing on the bed as he shifted into a more comfortable position. Placing one hand over his face, he tried to block out the sunlight that was currently peeking through a crack in the glass window. He sighed as he placed both hands behind his head, shutting his golden orbs as he took a futile attempt at sleeping. But even as he closed his eyes, the image of Sanzo kept replaying itself in his mind, flashing at him all over and all over again.

"Why am I feeling this way?" he said aloud, his eyes fluttering open in vexation.

"Feel what?"

Goku almost fell off the bed in shock, and he gaped in disbelief as he saw Sanzo sitting beside him, mysterious and unfathomable violet locking onto Goku's dark golden. The deep orbs of amethyst were cloaked by his golden bangs, the strands of silken blonde that were Sanzo's. The blonde was still wearing the same façade that he always wore; the icy, expressionless and monotonous mask. 

The cold and bitter mask that Goku longed to take away, longed to tear away. The arctic face that seemed to have frozen not unlike the icy expression that it held within it. He wished that if Sanzo, if only Sanzo could just smile at him, could just utter some words of warmth or concern for him – he would've done anything. And he, Goku, in turn, would have done anything to take away what had caused Sanzo to withdraw into his hard and bitter shell of solitude.

"I said, feel what?"

Goku was jerked back to reality, and he grinned sheepishly as Sanzo's amethyst gaze locked on his own. "Nothing," he mumbled inaudibly, twiddling his fingers in a childish motion.

The answer didn't apply to Sanzo, and his violet eyes narrowed as he looked down upon Goku. For a moment, the youth expected some harsh words, a nice thwack from the _harisen_, or even a shot from the infamous spirit-ascending gun; but as he was pondering over it, a gloved hand buried itself in Goku's unruly russet hair, and Sanzo ruffled the adolescent's hair, even as Goku looked up at him in shock.

"S-Sanzo?"

Sanzo didn't say anything, but there was silent melancholy in his dark eyes as he leaned closer towards Goku, his gloved hand leaving Goku's brown locks to gently caress the young teen's cheek. And Goku, yet again, felt the rapid quickening of his heartbeat in his tightening chest. He placed an unconscious hand to his heart, and closed his eyes as he felt his mind spinning in a whirl of confusion, of affection, of a deep mystery that he himself couldn't fathom.__

"Don't keep your secrets bottled inside yourself, Goku," Sanzo murmured softly, his broad hand leaving Goku's bronze cheek. In that flickering instant, Goku felt a twinge of sadness and pain as he felt the warmth leaving his skin. "You'll only hurt yourself," he continued, as he stood up. "And besides, you never liked secrets."

_Why am I feeling this way?_

But there was no time for thinking, as Sanzo shoved his way past him, and placed one gloved hand on the door handle. The room was silent. Tranquil taciturnity resonated off the white walls, as both Sanzo and Goku remained quiet, whatever words they wanted to blurt out – hidden deep inside them. The blonde turned around, narrowing his violet eyes as his gaze fixated on Goku's golden orbs. "Goku."

_Why am I feeling this way?_

And it was then, then as something electrifying shot through Goku, an excruciating jolt of pain as his eyes locked on Sanzo's. A throbbing ache of loneliness engulfed his soul, and his eyes widened, developing a blank look as numerous, countless images began to flash in his mind, sharp and quick dashes, all different, yet all showing the same image of one person. He shut his eyes, trying to ignore the aching agony in his soul, trying to block out those images. But he failed, miserably, as he felt his mind reel.

Flashes of amethyst, dark lavender, golden, sunlight, sapphire...the many colours swirled in his mind, and Goku's citrine eyes fluttered open as he saw the vague image of a person.

_Who..._

Of a person clad in dark lavender, with long, lustrous strands of silken golden, interwoven with sunshine and starlight, the divine sun-kissed hair of blonde that shone like the sun itself. And with dark pools of violet, the enigmatic, perplexing lavender that held an unfathomable longing, an aching, and a deep yearning for love, and yet at the same time, held passionate love so profound, so sincere that it shook Goku. Those cold, arctic orbs of lavender that he had come to know so well...the heartfelt bitterness in them that Goku recognized as Sanzo's. 

_Who are you?_

The figure turned, silken strands of gold spilling down his back, and smiled at Goku in melancholy as those beautiful, obscure orbs of amethyst shimmered with ardent sadness, his face despondent even as he looked at him. The face, Goku murmured to himself. The face. Beautifully crafted lips, the soft porcelain skin – Goku knew that face. And it was then, in that fleeting moment, where that melancholy figure spoke.

_"Aishiteru, _Goku."

_Whose voice is it? _He asked, to no one in particular. The deep, husky and reassuring voice, the musical and whispery voice laced with bitterness and zealous love, the one sound that Goku had ever recognized as the voice of his freedom, the voice of his love. The one voice that Goku had grown to know, to love. And even as the beautiful celestial turned to look at him, Goku's heart missed a beat as he recognized that one face.

_Sanzo?_

As though as he could hear Goku's thoughts, the angelic being shook his head.

_This voice..._

_"No."_

_I know this voice from a long time ago._

A gentle breeze blew by, playing with Goku's chocolate hair as it blew it about. The youth felt his eyes brimming with gentle tears, tears of sadness, joy and regret as he tried to reach out for the mysterious celestial. For the promise that the celestial had made, Goku realized with a jolt. For the promise...the promise that he had made so long ago, the eternal promise that he had still remembered until this very day. 

_'You came back,' _Goku murmured, allowing the hot tears of happiness to fall. '_You _did _came back...take me with you this time,' _he whispered, streaks of wetness forming on his cheeks. '_Don't leave me alone,' _he pleaded silently. '_Don't leave me again...my sun.'_

The divine figure shook his head sadly. _"I can't take you with me, Goku."_

_I remember, we have always been together..._

Almost as instantly as it had appeared, Goku felt the warmth of joy disappear from his body, only to be replaced with a bitter coldness. "Why?" he asked sadly, and his hand reached out to stroke his love's cheek, but he couldn't reach it. "Why, Konzen?" he whispered, realizing in shock, that for the first time of his 500 years of imprisonment, he had finally recalled his sunshine's name.

_From 500 years ago._

Konzen reached out in despondency, stroking one hand down Goku's tear-stained cheek.

_"I can't take you with me, Goku..."_

Goku felt something tugging at his soul, a strong grasp on his heart, trying to pull him back to reality; a tight grip on his being, slowly, but gradually, taking him back to where he was. "But why!?" he screamed, his voice hysterical as more tears flowed down his cheek. "I waited for an eternity for you! For you to fulfill your promise! For you to come back," he murmured sadly. 

Konzen smiled, a sincere smile, and grasped Goku's hand in his tightly as, after being separated for half a century, amethyst and golden locked to become one. He leaned down, brushing his gentle lips against Goku's, ravishing it quietly before he held Goku's at arm's length, and began to fade away.

_"I can't come back..."_

Goku gasped, and let out a choked sob as he brushed away what remained of his tears. "Konzen!"

_"Because, Goku..."_

"Konzen! Don't leave!"

"_Goku, I'm already here."_

Goku blinked, and looked upon Konzen's dissipating form in puzzled bewilderment. "What do you mean?" he asked uncertainly, his golden eyes shimmering in trepidation. Konzen only shook his head, and Goku felt that tugging at his soul again, the silent grip on his heart that was pulling him back to reality.

_The voice._

"...ku!"

_Someone was calling him._

"Goku!"

_In that voice, the beautiful voice that he had loved so much..._

****

"Goku, wake up!"__

Golden eyes fluttered open, only to meet startled amethyst in their wake. Goku sat up from the floor dazedly, and felt the throbbing pain in his being slowly draining away. "What?" he murmured, uncertain of what had happened. In fact, he was still pondering over what had happened even when the deadly _harisen _came down hard upon his head. Goku looked up indignantly, his eyes flashing fire as he came face-to-face with Sanzo. But all thoughts of whining were forgotten at the stricken look on his guardian's face.

"You bloody idiot," Sanzo murmured, before letting the _harisen _fall from his hands. "You bloody idiot," he repeated, before he stroked Goku's hair affectionately, "You scared me to death, did you know that? I thought I had lost you." Goku could do nothing, and he just sat there, drowning in Sanzo's amethyst orbs, before burying his head into Sanzo's chest, all the sorrows embedded in his soul released as he cried, shaking with quiet sobs, in his guardian's arms. And Sanzo did naught, but brought him closer to him, drawing him closer into the warm embrace. And even as Goku sobbed silently, he could just make out Sanzo's quiet whisper:

_"Bakasaru."_

****

**_To be Continued_**

****

****

**[A/N] **Hmm...yet another miracle. This was done in one day! XD Alright, me going back to school tomorrow...probably only coming online on Friday night. You can most probably check for updates on Sunday or Monday. And see you =P I'm still debating whether I should include Homura or Kougaiji. What the heck, I've got another week to think. Okay, then. _Ja ne._

Lots of love,

Gokugurl

20th January 2003 – 9.45 PM


	2. Sole Reminiscence

**[A/N] **Yah, everyone, we meet again. Okay, I can't believe it; 24 reviews for the first chapter!? Good lord. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed it... the plot is still buried in my mind, somewhere [ransacks her mind, searching for the plot] but yes, I have a faint idea what it's about. So...read on! ^^ 

**[DISCLAIMER] **The day that Saiyuki is mine is the day when Saiyuki is rated R.

**Of Violet Twilight  
#2 – Sole Reminiscence**

_By Gokugurl A.K.A Kimie_

****

_The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.  
  
_

-Oscar Wilde

****__

_There was a clunking sound._

_The familiar clunking sound that had haunted him for the past 10 years, the same sound that had echoed in his dreams for as long as he could remember._

_'Sanzo...'_

**_'What the? Who the hell's calling me?'_**

_'Sanzo...'_

**_'Who the hell are you?'_**

'When are you coming?'

**_'Shut the fuck up!'_**

****

_'I'm waiting for you...'_

**_'Uruse, kisama!' [Shut up, you!]_**

_'Sanzo...'_

_There was the distant sound of metal against metal, once again, as someone shuffled over the barren ground, chains clunking as his youthful hands moved, reaching out to him._

_Aishiteru. I'll wait for you..._

**_'I asked you who the fuck are you!?'_**

_Crying. Sobbing. Whimpering sounds that reached out to him, shook and broke his soul even as he heard those pathetic wails coming from whoever it was that was calling him. To whoever it was that was so desperate, so yearning for him._

_Sanzo..._

**_"What the..."_**

****

We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.

-Erich Fromm

****

Deep amethyst flickered open, and the owner breathed heavily as he fisted one hand in his moonlit golden hair. Sanzo closed his eyes again, and his breathing eased as he collapsed against the soft silken coverlet that was his blanket. The drowsy blonde reached out for his Marlboros, before lighting one sole cigarette, and chucked the box to the other side of the room. 

He leaned back against the wall, and took a puff from his cigarette. He was overcast by the dark shadows, and little illuminated the room if not for the dim starlight that was a bright contrast against the jet-black sky. He murmured something inaudible, shifted so that he could get a better position in his bed, and sighed.

The same, fucking dream that he had had for five times the whole week.

It was ironic, really. Every night, he would drift off to sleep, only to be awakened in the middle of the night by that clunking sound; the shuffling of chains against a barren, rocky prison, and by someone crying, calling out to him, calling his name again and again, desperate and longing. He had, after all, been having those same dreams for the past 10 years, but it had been several years since he had last had them. 

Those dreams had stopped 6 or so years ago when he had found Goku.

Speaking about Goku... he cursed softly as his hand landed on a tangle of unruly chocolate hair, and the young adolescent murmured something incoherent as Sanzo quickly withdrew his hand from the silken russet hair that was Goku's. The dark-haired child sighed as Sanzo took away his hand, and Sanzo shook his head, a flicker of amusement alight in his violet eyes as he ruffled Goku's hair.

Bakasaru.

The kid was beautiful, yes, Sanzo knew. Beautiful, gorgeous, and dangerously attractive with his luminous golden eyes that reeked of unfathomable innocence; those radiant citrine orbs that shone of age beyond his years, the brilliant shades of brown and hazel that were his eyes, gleaming of the golden sunset beyond the horizon. Of course he knew that Goku was beautiful. 

That was the first thought he had had of Goku when he had first stumbled upon the pathetic-looking child on Mt. Gogyo three or four years or so before. Innocent, beautiful, childish, beautiful, broken, beautiful, shocked, beautiful, attractive, beautiful, amazed, beautiful, stunned – did he mention beautiful?

He had came upon the golden-eyed adolescent in that scandalous rock prison; the cruel, barren bars that had imprisoned the child within, with magic interwoven outside so that Time would not penetrate its depths, thus leaving the child's age frozen in Time so that he had remained eternally twelve for the dull period of 500 years. To be honest, Sanzo couldn't imagine how life had been for the broken child, the shattered innocent who had supposedly been banished from Tenkai for a crime so horrendous that he had to deserve 500 years of imprisonment, without any trace of his memories or what he was back in Tenkai.

The real truth that lay in his releasing of Goku was not because he felt sympathy nor affection for the young, broken child of twelve in that cruel prison. It was just that – the moment he had set eyes on him, a surge of recognition had jolted through him like none had before. 

During that fleeting second, that magical moment that he had locked eyes with the former Toushin Taishi of Heaven, he knew that there was something in those enigmatic golden eyes that he recognized, that he knew; as though he had known the child from a long time ago.

Oi, are you the one who has been calling me? He had said, back then, kneeling down to look at the adolescent, the child who had just stirred from his sleep. And then, Goku had sat up, dark, brown locks spilling over his youthful, beautiful face, concealing his eyes as he rubbed them sleepily, small – extremely kissable – lips parted as he yawned, slightly. 

Before his eyes fluttered open, revealing the luminous shades of radiant golden.

And it was then that Sanzo had felt something in him; an indescribable feeling that he couldn't possibly express in words. The flash of golden - bright, beautiful, innocent golden – the familiar gleam of hazel citrine that he recognized, yet at the same time, didn't know of. The haunting glimmer of gold that had haunted his dreams with the rattling chains, the splendid shade of bronze. 

He knew those eyes.

Those beautiful golden eyes. He had remembered loving them, cherishing them, ravishing them, gazing deep into them as he had caressed the child's cheek gently, lovingly, all the while drowning in those shades of luminous golden. And yet...

He didn't remember.

Sanzo sighed in melancholy, and moved closer to Goku's being as he stroked the adolescent's hair tenderly, and nuzzled his face into the child's strands of dark brown. He had feelings for the young boy of eighteen; deep, tender feelings. He knew he had. And he hated himself for it – for he, Genjo Sanzo, had vowed never to fall in love, to love someone, nor to love someone so deep that it hurt.

And yet, now – he, Genjo Sanzo, had broken all three vows.

But he didn't care.

He cared for Goku, he knew he did. Sanzo recalled the countless times where he had felt sadness, aching despondency and melancholy when Goku had been missing from the group, the depression and dejection, the misery and sorrow that had rocked his soul, the disappointment and guilt when Goku had been taken by Homura, all because of the fraudulent words, those spiteful insults he had thrown at the young child during one rainy night. 

And the frustration, the irritation, the annoyance that he felt whenever Goku whined and wailed endlessly about his insatiable hunger and how his bottomless pit of a stomach was bothering him as it growled. The anger, the shaking fear and apprehension that he had felt when Goku had removed his limiter, transforming into _Seiten Taisen _– for he had been afraid that Goku wouldn't return;and the stabbing guilt and brokenness as he knew that Goku had did it for him, only him; for the sake of saving him, of curing Sanzo from the scorpion's poison.

I shouldn't be feeling anything for the bakasaru, but...

The bliss and rapturous euphoria that he had felt, but wouldn't express when Goku had returned to him, collapsing in his arms in exhaustion after being restored of the golden diadem, his tired, limp body in Sanzo's arms as what remained of his energy drained out after the hellish release and sealing of the _Seiten Taisen; _The uncountable happiness and untold joy when Goku had came back, returned even after Sanzo had thrown those hateful words on that one fateful night, after Homura had tortured him to no end.

What am I feeling now? 

Bliss, cheerfulness, harassment, irritation, felicity, delight, gloom, somberness, euphoria, exhilaration, anger, rage, fear, apprehension, frustration, heartbroken, despondency, gaiety, glee, melancholy, dismal, regret, guilt, lament, dejection, jubilation, pleasure - those were all the emotions that Goku had created in him; all the feelings that Goku had stirred in him. But then, all those emotions could be summarized into one word:

Love.

****

Did my heart love 'till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty until this night.

_-William Shakespeare_

****

_  
_Goku awoke, a feeling of unease upon his being as his wild, enigmatic golden eyes, dull with discomfort, glanced blurrily around the dimly illuminated room that was his. He sighed, fluttering his eyes shut, clasping a hand to his throbbing forehead as he winced at the visible pain. For some reason, his head had been aching fervently ever since a few hours ago, but Goku couldn't remember why.

_What had happened?_

All he had remembered, dimly, was being lulled to sleep in someone's warm embrace. A tender, affectionate embrace, warm and gentle. An embrace that he remembered so well, knew so well; yet couldn't remember. But he knew, for one, that the one whom had rocked him quietly to sleep had been one that he remembered, one that he had recognized; yet at the same time, didn't know. 

Soft, silken sun-kissed hair; long lustrous strands of woven gold that were draped down his left chest, the beautiful blonde hair that had shone like the sun. And those gentle, benign arms that had wrapped so protectively around his being, concealing him in tender warmth - they were so familiar, yet so distant. And the deep, dark pools of amethyst that were composed of the beautiful violet twilight of the sunset; the mysterious, unfathomable lavender eyes that he had grown to know, to love. 

  
_Who was he?  
  
_The yearning, longing look that was apparent in those violet eyes; they were hauntingly beautiful, yet eerily enigmatic. The icy, artic bitterness of them were what Goku had registered as Sanzo's; yet, they were different, in so many ways. Cold, quiet melancholy; deep, obscure eyes that were devoid of emotion, yet so full of them that it was immensely perplexing. But then – he knew those eyes. He knew that he had loved those eyes, once upon a time. The shadowy shades of violet twilight that were those amethyst orbs.

_I know him..._

But then, he had forgotten. Forgotten the one whom those haunting amethyst had belonged to. Forgotten the one, the oh so beautiful one whom he had once loved, the one whom had brought him true sunlight, the one who had been _his _sun. __

However, the words, the fragile, beautiful words of promise still lingered in his mind; strong and clear, and Goku embraced the gentle memory quietly, relishing in the warm, tender feel of it. 

_I will come back for you._

And the faint remembrance of the golden-haired celestial, whom was slowly fading, disappearing slowly, silently from the depths of his adolescent mind; slipping away from what remained of his memory even as he tried to grasp the withering remembrance, and failed as it slowly began to dissipate, as Time began to weave threads of silken moments, reaching out Her gentle fingers to quietly touch that memory.

_I can't come back to you, Goku._

"No," Goku whispered, struggling to hold on to that one memory, that gentle reminiscence, the sole recollection of his former lover; the one whom had been his one purpose for living. "Don't leave me."

_Because, Goku, I'm already here. I have returned to you._

And Goku believed him; believed the soft, musical voice of his beloved as the golden-haired one whispered those sweet words into his mind. He did not recognize whose voice it was, who was the one who murmured those beautiful phrases, whom was the one whom had been his sun - but he reminisced, he remembered the love, the amorous passion that they had once shared; and Goku felt silken warmth embrace him, drowsiness enveloping him as he drifted wordlessly into siesta.__

Goku let all that remained of his other memories leave him, but grasped tightly onto that one loving reminiscence as slumber overrode Goku. And even as he fell into the realms of rapturous sleep, he felt those gentle, silken arms embracing him again, and he could have sworn that he heard that one, beautiful voice speaking to him, the musical, heavenly voice, laced with love, murmuring gentle words in his mind.

_I have returned..._

Before everything else lapsed into darkness; all other memories forgotten – for Time had finally taken her toll, at last.

_I have returned, Goku._

Goku, oblivious, drifted off to his siesta, even as Sanzo buried his blonde head in Goku's neck; nuzzling the soft, smooth skin that was Goku's. And Sanzo wrapped his leather-clad arms around his young being, drawing his close to him, and enveloped Goku in his warmth. Sanzo placed a gentle, tender kiss on the part where bronze neck met shoulder, and smiled silently as Goku sighed, a soft and innocent smile on his face. 

_I have returned._

**_To be Continued_**

****

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

-Anonymous

****

**[A/N] **Good lord, I almost cried. Oh well... [sniffles] y'know, I figure that I write better when I'm drunk. Helps that I just had two cans of Shandy ^^ Okay, okay, I know, I shouldn't be drinking on the night before school starts [curses] but then, heck – for inspiration, anything's worth it! Authors out there with writer's block; you should know what I mean.

****

**THANKS TO:**

****

**Kamen: **[yah, y'know who you are =P] I am now the PROUD OWNER OF 7 SAIYUKI POSTERS! AND THEY'RE ALL PERFECTLY INTACT! HOW DAAAAARE YOU CURSE ME IN YOUR REVIEW!? XD [Just kidding, just kidding] Hehe...I'm loaded, baby! Call me...

CTFA( Crissania 

**Goku-chan2002**

**Ewen: **O.o The effect that my fic has on Homura lovers... [shudder] HEEYY!! WHERE'S DA SEQUEL!? [points finger accusingly at Ewen] Anyways, here's a nice big glomp for ya for being such a good pal! [glomp] ^______^

**Jashuang: **== The EEEEEEVILNESS that parents inflict upon us poor Saiyuki fangirls... [cries]

Saiyuki_gal 

**Kenren**

**aya-chan: **More exciting? *sweatdrop*

**Darklighter: **Nope, never heard, never been.

**Star-chan: **O-o Wai man...where's YOUR next chapter of **Letting you Go? **HUUH!?

**dref**

**Abelle: **Aww! *hugs back* ^___^ Sank yuu na! Continue **Seventh Heaven** & **Frivolous Lovers**, onegai? [big, sparkly eyes *o*]

M-i 

**-karin-: **Damn. *re-reads Chapter 2* Sanzo is already OOC. [cries] Gomen! Hehe, about the IC Sanzo in the first part, neh...did you know how HARD it was to keep him in IC? ;__; Oh well. Guess I ruined it. [mopes] But anyway, thanks! And I'm sorry if Sanzo is OOC... T_T

**crazzzybanana: **Uh-huh! ^_^ Thank you!

Didi 

**chris**

**Keitsu Han'ei: **^^;;;;; You're back...well..._matteru'zo, ne?_

**gallatica: **Aww...sank yuu!

**Cylca: **O-o;;;; Good lord, yes. ^^;; Ehehe...yah, I read the manga where he saw the moon...guess I forgot about it while writing the first part... *sweatdrop* And Hakkai and Gojyo? Um...guess they'll make a subtle appearance sooner or later...my mind nowadays is manifested with school and Sanzo and school rules and Goku...

**venedy: **Haha, its because Homura plays the part PERFECTLY! XD

**'deru: **Aaaah! _Okaeri! _^^ You're back on the com, neh? Still can't believe this is your kouhai? :P Chapter three up already lorr...

Saiyuki-gal

**Animegurl**

**~THANK YOU~**

****

Love,

Gokugurl

27th January 2003, 12.41 AM

  
  



	3. Benign Interlude

**[A/N] **All I can say is...four words - Screw bloody fucking school. Oh well. Bloody formatting screwed up...And Gokugurl presents: #3 - Benign Interlude. Oh, and anyone want a pic of Konzen and Goku kissing? Anyone?? I drew it myself y'know... T_T 

**Of Violet Twilight**

**#3 – Benign Interlude**

_By Gokugurl A.K.A Kimie_

****

_When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past, I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought._

****

Young, youthful hands; adolescent and tender, flanked by heavy shackles; thick, silver chains that were both bitterly cold and icily rigid. Soft, childlike fingers fingering his lustrous strands of woven gold, taking in those sun-kissed silken strands of blonde as those delicate hands continued to fondle his hair; a caressing, loving touch.

_Sugee, kira kira shita na..._

Long, silken russet brown blowing softly in the haunting wind, the gentle breeze placing tantalizing little kisses on those chocolate strands as those dark locks danced in sync with the playful wind. Tanned, bronze skin radiating with health and warmth, closed eyes hidden under bangs of dark brown, and there was a flash of dull gold that was one golden diadem.

_Taiyou no mitai da._

And as dark eyelashes fluttered, revealing a pair of glimmering eyes - orbs of a radiant golden - deep, beautiful shades of golden hazel, picturesque eyes that reeked of profound innocence. And the serene tranquility, a childlike wisdom that he had admired since a long time ago; the haunting, lovely innocence, portrayed ever so clearly in those crystalline citrine.

_Golden eyes._

****

_You don't love one because one is beautiful; one is beautiful because you love him._

****

"Sanzo!"

He only grunted in response, shifting his head so that it rested snugly and ever so comfortable on the head of his seat. He kept his eyes stubbornly shut, even though the bright sunlight was beating down mercilessly on him, just like the bloody asshole it was. Sanzo sighed involuntarily, and brushed away a stray strand of golden that fell onto his face. 

"Sanzo!"

There it was, the damn voice. The damned voice that kept calling him, kept calling his name over and over again. The same, helpless voice, desperate and pleading, crying out his name, amidst feeble, despondent sobs. The familiar, innocent voice that he had known so long; the voice that he had loved...

_...The voice that he seemed to have had known since such a long time ago._

"Sanzo!!"

The said blonde's eyes snapped open, revealing dark, furious amethyst.

_"IKAGENISHIRO!"_

There was a one single, sickening thwack from the infamous harisen, several shuffling sounds and a few yells of protest _– "Itai!"_ - from Goku as the young adolescent scrambled about to get away from Sanzo's revengeful paper fan. Sanzo let the harisen rest against the palm of his gloved hand, before giving Goku a death glare.

"Isn't it peaceful?" Hakkai said cheerfully, but immediately shut up as he felt the gun's cock behind his head.

"I said I wanted to fucking sleep! So just bloody let me sleep!" Sanzo yelled, giving Goku yet another sickening thwack on the head before settling down to sleep again, moving a little so that he was in a comfortable position. "Bakasaru," he muttered, under his breath. The blonde waited a few seconds, before stealing a glance through the rear mirror at the said monkey. 

Gojyo was snoring away, fast asleep, as was Goku. The russet-haired teenager of eighteen had his legs were draped rather snugly over Gojyo's, and Sanzo couldn't help but feel a hot, flaring something burning inside him. He couldn't help wishing that he was Gojyo – hell, he would wish for anything that involved two extremely fucking hot seductive _Goku_ legs on him right now. 

_What the fuck?_

_Did he just wish that? _

Well, what the hell was he supposed to do? He was normal, and as far as he knew, all normal people went for sexy, beautiful, sexy, fucking hot, sexy, dark-haired, sexy, lithe, sexy, lean, sexy, tanned, sexy, golden-eyed adolescents. Oh, and did he mention sexy? Those who didn't couldn't possibly have any common sense in their well-being. It didn't matter that he was supposed to be celibate. [A/N: Was he EVER celibate? Nah.] Hell, it didn't matter at all. Celibacy could fuck in Hell for all he cared.

_I am **not **in love with the saru,_ Sanzo strictly reminded himself, chanting the words as though they were a mantra. _I am not in love with the saru. Not in love with the saru. Love the saru. Okay, damn it, I'm in love with the saru. Fuck it, I love the saru so much that I want to fuck him every time I see him with his luminous golden eyes. Satisfied?_ Sanzo mentally yelled at his libido. And somewhere, down there where the sun doesn't shine, something nodded in approval.

**[A/N: **Don't ask... ^^;;**]**

_Did he love the saru?_

And as he stole another secretive glance at the sleeping child, looking ever so peaceful, so tranquil in siesta; so foolishly childish, yet impossibly beautiful at the same time. He sighed, his golden brows furrowing as he did so, and he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

_He'd think about it._

The inner beauty that lay within those citrine eyes, the haunting innocence that was embedded within his soul; the loveliness of his nature that was his heart. Sanzo loved all of that about Goku, and cherished it as one would cherish a lover.

_And yet again..._

_Maybe he knew the answer after all._

****

_Ever felt love so impossible, so wonderfully scandalous that it made you tremble with excitement and enthusiasm every time you thought of your forbidden lover? For the fun and beauty of it lies neither in the frivolousness nor the scandal that is your love; it lies within the emotions that you share in your heart; the union of the souls._

****

"_Mou, harahetta! _[I'm hungry!]" Goku whined, yawning as he stretched his arms, and Hakuryu _kyuu_ed indignantly as Goku accidentally kicked out on Hakuryu's bonnet. "_Gomen_, Hakuryuu!" Goku grinned sheepishly. Sanzo only scowled at him, the infamous frown adorning his face even as he turned around to look at Goku. "_Urusai, bakasaru_," Sanzo snapped. "You're not the only one who's hungry here." 

The said member of the Sanzo-ikkou pouted, before leaning forward to hook his arms around Sanzo's neck – rather obliviously, may I add. Sanzo was considerably startled at this, for whatever it was that he had expected as a response from Goku, it wasn't _this_. He felt a mild flush creeping across his face, but quickly wiped the feeling away as he placed a finger on the trigger, aiming it at Goku's forehead. 

"Let go of me," Sanzo said softly, his voice a deadly whisper, devoid of all emotions as his enigmatic violet locked on Goku's fearful golden. "Let go of me," he repeated, "or I'll kill you. I swear."

Goku gulped, and released his arms from around the blonde's slender neck, and sat back in his seat even as he received yet another glare from Sanzo, followed by the usual strings of curses and threats of immediate death. He only sighed, and looked up at the deep cerulean streak of blue that was the sky, and squinted as the bright sunlight flashed at him.

_The sunlight..._

It was then, that Goku felt that familiar jolt of pain in his being, surging through his soul like one hot flash of excruciating fire. And his soul was engulfed in that agonizing loneliness once again; as he felt the bitter iciness grasp him in its arctic grip of isolation even as he struggled to wrench himself free from those cold fingers of oblivion.

_A flicker of sun-kissed golden, a sharp flash of dark amethyst..._

He placed one perspiring hand to his chest, clutching it tightly as he felt his heart slamming painfully against his ribcage. And let out a choked gasp as he couldn't breathe; and Goku felt his vision blurring in a swirl of colours, all caught in a tangle of white-hot light as the pain became too unbearable to bear.

_A sad smile of melancholy, warm, loving hands ravishing his being..._

"Goku!" Hakkai cried out in alarm, as he surveyed the scene from the rear mirror, and his emerald eyes widened in shock as he saw Goku collapsing onto the backseat; the young adolescent's hands clutching his chest tightly as Goku's breath came in short, ragged gasps. Gojyo looked groggily around, but not before he rushed to Goku's side. "Goku!" Sanzo turned around, and deep lavender widened considerably as those violet orbs took in the scene before them. 

_Soft, gentle lips upon his own...so loving, so tender..._

"Konzen," Goku murmured, the soft name rolling off his lips. And as Hakuryu screeched to a halt, as Hakkai scrambled out of the car to aid him, as Gojyo shook him, as Sanzo leaned over him, indescribable fear in those usually unfathomable eyes...Goku saw only the image of that beautiful celestial, the one with the long, lustrous strands of woven gold; as those sad, despondent orbs of amethyst fixed upon his own, as that face turned to look at him.

And smiled.

Goku felt his breath catch in his chest, and he cried out one last time as the pain shot through him again. And time was still, oh, so still, as Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo looked upon him as he fell, unconscious, surrendering to the arctic arms of oblivion.

"Konzen..." he whispered silently, not really registering what it was that he said. "Konzen..."

And all went black.

****

_For with love that is deep comes a price all must keep.___

****

Sanzo sat beside Goku's bed, resting his head on the back of his hand as fatigue all but kissed the rims of his eyes, tempting him to follow it into the realm of siesta. The blonde did naught but wave it away, and sighed in frustration as he looked down on Goku's motionless figure. 

_Fuck, what the hell was wrong with the kid? _

Sanzo turned around. "Oi, Gojyo, Hakkai - " but he was at a loss for words. For what he did see, was naught but a pair of lovebirds making out in the open. Hakkai had his mouth clamped firmly on Gojyo's, and the redhead had one rather inquisitive hand delving into Hakkai's shirt, but not before moving lower...

And lower...

And _lower..._

Hakkai squeaked as Gojyo's hand found what it sought.

"Oh, _Gojyo..."_

Sanzo coughed.

It took the lovemaking couple a full 10 seconds to register what was happening, and when they did realize that Sanzo had caught them red-handed, they immediately broke apart, each flushing 7 different shades of crimson. Pink, scarlet, alizirin – take your pick. Hakkai coughed, his face turning a deeper shade of pink than Gojyo's, while Gojyo only smirked, ruby eyes alight with mirth as they locked on Hakkai's nervous green.

The blonde rolled his eyes, and held up his hands in mock surrender. "I didn't see anything," he muttered, before sitting down on the bed, next to Goku. "You two can roll over naked on the floor for all I care."

Gojyo placed a hand to his heart, and put on a sad expression so fake, you could smell it all the way from Toronto. "Aww, Sanzo-sama, I'm _hurt." _The redhead snickered, and playfully bent down to ravish Hakkai's lips with his. Poor Hakkai blushed yet again, turning an even deeper shade of red than before. Sanzo would've paid more attention to the two horny lover's antics, had it not been that he had heard Goku's inaudible whispers from the bed.

"_Taiyou..._[Sun]_"_

Goku stirred gently, shivering softly as he began to shake with silent sobs. "_Taiyou wa...doko da? _[Where is the sun?]" Sanzo could only look down at Goku, hurt apparent in his violet eyes - hurt for Goku, only Goku. As he braved himself, he inched closer to Goku's gentle form, and hesitated. He turned around, and saw Gojyo and Hakkai looking at him – rather curiously, may he add. 

He sent them a Look™, and the redhead and brunette understood the message immediately - even faster than usual, for Sanzo had one finger ready on his _shoureijyuu's _trigger. They went out of the room, closing the door softly behind them.

"Sanzo..."

The said blonde jerked around, surprised at Goku's calling him, and his wary eyes softened again as they rested upon the adolescent's still form. He stepped back to the bed, and sat down, shifting so that he was lying next to Goku. And slowly, but surely, wrapped his arms hesitantly around Goku's slender waist, bringing the child close to him in a tender embrace. Goku snuggled closer to the warmth, and buried his head into Sanzo's chest, sobbing silently. 

Sanzo did naught, but only buried one gloved hand into that tangle of unruly russet, reveling in the soft silken strands of dark brown that was Goku's. And smiled, a true, sincere smile as he felt Goku relax in his arms, melting into his embrace. Sanzo sat up, bringing Goku with him, cradling the young child of eighteen in his arms as he placed a gentle kiss on Goku's forehead. He reached out one hand, and let that one gloved hand travel down Goku's being; tracing gentle, comforting circles on the small of Goku's back. 

And as Goku drifted into a dreamless sleep in Sanzo's arms, the blonde all but placed the short-haired adolescent back on the bed, and brushed away a stray lock of hair from the beautiful, youthful face that was Goku's. And felt himself being swept by a wave of yearning lust, a burning desire as he looked down at that one innocent. 

Those dark eyelashes, hidden under those dark bangs of brown; the smooth, tanned skin of his being, a haunting bronze that Sanzo couldn't get out of his mind; and those beautifully crafted lips that were Goku's, only Goku's. Those petite, kissable lips that he longed to ravish, to taste. Oh, how he wished to crush his mouth to Goku's, to savour the forbidden taste within.

Sanzo leaned down, and ravished Goku's lips gently, oh so gently, with his own; and let his tongue travel over the curve of Goku's bottom lip, relishing in the taste that was Goku's. And, in a spur of shock, as he realized it, immediately drew back, before raising an uncertain hand to his mouth.

_A chaste kiss, and yet..._

He pinned Goku down on the bed, his desire getting the better of him as he straddled the youth's slender waist, before the blonde leaned down yet again, his mouth meeting Goku's one more time. And even as shocked golden fluttered open beneath him, he didn't notice – only felt two desperate hands tugging at his blonde hair, and continued to torture Goku mercilessly as his lips traveled from those delicate lips to nip at Goku's jawbone, eliciting a soft moan from the youth below him.

_Yet...I long for more. For something beyond the boundaries; beyond the mere keeper-and-charge bond that we both share._

Sanzo opened his eyes, exposing the glazed amethyst within, he found himself looking into equally hazy golden eyes; laced with lust, desire, ardor, passion, and zeal. And trust. Trust, and loveso frail, so sincere; yet so deep, that Sanzo was afraid to take the fragile emotion in his arms, should it crumble with his slightest touch.

_But, it felt so right...as though they had loved before..._

And as Sanzo crushed his avid mouth to Goku's; as his lips met the latter's in a flurry of swirling emotions, he had no doubt of it. As tongues intertwined; hot and hungry as they explored each other with zealous passion; as a war ensued for dominance between them. 

_Love. Had he not loved this way before?_

**LIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIMELIME**

Goku had slowly begun to respond to the kisses; and his tongue met Sanzo's in hungry desire as he stroked the others' gently with his own. He let his own tongue travel teasingly over Sanzo's lips, and he moaned softly into Sanzo's mouth as the blonde began to work his magic on Goku's lips; nipping tenderly at Goku's bottom lip, Sanzo took the reins, exploring the depths of Goku's mouth, tracing a tantalizing little trail over Goku's tongue as he continued to savor the cavern of scandalous flavors that was Goku's. 

Lips still locked on Sanzo's, Goku tugged on Sanzo's clothes, his dark golden orbs burning with passionate lust as he undid the hem of Sanzo's robes, before disposing of the irritating garment as it was flung aside, along with Sanzo's black leather top, exposing the broad, pale ivory chest.

Slightly more satisfied, Goku let one knowing hand travel over that chest, trailing a teasing path from Sanzo's jawbone, to his chest, before he traced tempting circles around Sanzo's nipples, causing the blonde to shudder under his touch. 

Unwilling to let Goku do all the exploring, Sanzo, by some sheer force of will, managed to remove the tangle of white that was Goku's shirt, all the while with his mouth desperately on Goku's. He grunted in protest as Goku left his lips, only to plant tormenting little kisses down his jawbone; tender, soft little butterfly kisses that aroused him. Goku stopped the kisses, but not before scraping his teeth deliberately, seductively, over the curve where Sanzo's neck met his shoulder, causing Sanzo to moan gently.

And even as Sanzo removed what remained of Goku's pants, he smiled lustfully as he felt Goku shiver in pleasure. He reached out one hand, slowly, surely, traveling over Goku's chest, and Sanzo bent down, only to lick one wet trail from Goku's lips to his jawbone, before his hands traveled further down; and Goku let out a muffled squeak as Sanzo found what it was that he sought. And even as Sanzo kicked off his denim pants, before straddling Goku on the bed, and as deep, zealous amethyst locked with hazy golden, Sanzo grinned a lazy – not to mention evil – grin.

"S-Sanzo!"

**OVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVEROVER**

Goku collapsed onto Sanzo, worn out and exhausted from their passionate lovemaking. And even as he rested his brown head on that broad chest, he sighed happily, his hand snaking down to find Sanzo's. And as he did, he interlaced his fingers with Sanzo's, and clutched it tightly, tenderly, lovingly.

And he wrapped his hesitant arms around Sanzo's waist, before nuzzling his head into Sanzo's slender neck, chuckling softly as those strands of gold tickled his nose. And Goku felt warm tears, tears of happiness, welling up in his eyes as he felt strong arms embrace him just as tightly, engulfing him in warmth as it brought him closer. Sometime ago – he couldn't remember when...one person too, had embraced him this way; gentle and loving, warm and affectionate...and he knew, although he didn't know how he knew, that, that one hauntingly beautiful person had looked exactly like Sanzo.

_I'll come back for you, I swear._

That one hauntingly beautiful person that had made that promise, had looked exactly like Sanzo.

_I can't come back, Goku...because I'm already here._

Then, the truth struck him. His golden eyes widened, and the tears broke free, cascading down his cheek; clear, crystalline drops of joy. The one; the _sunshine..._ the one who had promised him he would have come back for him, no matter how long it took. The one whom he had shared a fatal bond with; the one whom he had shared that everlasting passion with, the love with no boundaries...

_He had returned._

Pondering his thoughts, he felt someone kissing away his tears, licking at the saltiness on his cheeks. And he let his citrine orbs flutter open, and it was then that his golden gaze locked on tender amethyst. "Don't cry," Sanzo murmured, that deep, husky, rough voice that was Sanzo's, only Sanzo's. And he brushed his lips over Goku's cheeks, before caressing Goku's face tenderly with his hand.

Goku looked up at him, the intense love burning in his eyes once again; the love that was for Sanzo...only Sanzo. And as more tears began to fall, he leaned upwards, before throwing his arms around Sanzo; capturing the blonde's lips with his own in a shattering kiss. Goku released the lip-lock, looking upon Sanzo with elation, and smiled, sweetly, tenderly.

"Sanzo, I love you," he murmured, before ravishing Sanzo's lips once again with his own. "I'll always love you. I loved you before, I love you now, and I'll still love you in the future. And nothing is going to change that, Sanzo," he whispered, his voice trembling with love. _"Aishiteru."_

Sanzo did nothing, but brought Goku close to him in a warm embrace, before burying his face into Goku's unruly russet hair. _"Bakasaru," _he muttered. "I love you too," he said quietly, before capturing Goku's mouth with his own.

_I love you. _

_Forever._

**_To be Continued_**

****

_The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart._

****

**[A/N] **OKAY, LOOK, before anyone kills me, I'd like to apologize for the sucky chapter. _Gomenasai! _I tried my best... *sniffle* Gomen ne! HYAH! ^^ Posted this in 4 days! How's that!? [puffs out chest in pride] Okay, it's now 4.47 AM...but then, hey! It's the holidays! Ne? Anyone want a picture of Konzen and Goku **Kissing?** With a capital K? :P I spent a _considerable _amount of time on it...

********

**THANKS TO:**

****

**[Heart]**

**[Star-chan] **YAAAH! WHERE IS IT!? WHERE IS IT!!? XD

**[jashuang]**== As long as its still not April...I'm still twelve! XD Yah, your reviews are getting longer. ^^ Ooh, spirit's burning...chill...

**[dref]**

**[gallatica] **WHAAAAAD!? NOT YET!? T_T Good lord, looks like my internet REALLY screwed up.

**[janemy]**

**[Goku_Rulezzz] **Maa, maa, it's OK. ^^ Well, me? I'm quite a Goku fan, but I'm more into Sanzo. You could say that I'm into Goku and Sanzo and the pairing! ^^

**[nan] **Iie...me still not sure though...

**[tensaispira [x2]] **O.o USO!! HONTOU DESU KA!? XD Shandy's great, but school sucks. Screw school... its da CNY holidays! Rejoice! Get angpau! Wadeva... :P

**[Animegurl]**

**[chris]**

**[-karin-] **Sank yuu des'! *bows* Looking forward to seeing you online! ^^

**[bunni bunni] **

**[Star-chan] **LOL! Yah! Same to you too! ^^ Get loads of angpau and belanja me buy Saiyuki tau! [just kidding :P]

**~THANK YOU~**

****

Love,

Gokugurl

31st January 2003, 5.04 AM [I'm a bad, bad girl in a bad, bad world :P]


	4. Dark Heaven

**A/N: **Hell, I'm back from the depths of oblivion: and I got 9th in class! ^-^ I had a _very _murderous _taekwondo_ practice on Friday... –winces, massages arm- no thanks to _certain _people... –glares at one 'deru and several other black belts- anyways, I'm back with chapter 4! Hope y'like it! ^-^ I'll be starting OSH sooner or later – watch out for it... 

****

  
Of Violet Twilight

#4 – Dark Heaven

__

By Gokugurl A.K.A Kimie

****

_One of the reasons that you have dreams; _

_Is that you don't need to have a reason to have them._

****

He was watching.

In the midst of the darkness of the beautiful night, a mysterious figure lurked and hid in the dark shadows. He had no fear of being discovered, for the pitch-black darkness concealed him completely; and none was exposed save his watchful eyes as he observed from the roof, somehow keeping his balance on the wet zinc tiles as his gaze trailed silently over the inn.

The inn where the Sanzo-_ikkou _currently resided.

He sighed dispassionately, one of dark melancholy and frustration as he fixated his gaze upon one room, where the object of his obsession was currently lying in bed, dark, silken unruly russet hair askew as he lay, beautiful golden eyes fluttered close as his lush, full mouth parted slightly in sleep. 

He watched, quietly, silently, as his beauty woke up, smiling lazily. Watched as that amber-eyed angel was caught in a tight embrace by another, and he felt a hideous flare of immense jealousy in him as he saw the two lovers crushing their lips to each other's; stroking their hands down each other's skin and even more so as he saw the boy's limbs entangling itself with one amethyst-eyed blonde's.

With _Konzen Douji._

Or what was the reincarnation of Konzen Douji. Whatever the fuck it was, the blonde bastard and the pretty-eyed angel of his had this fateful connection; a tie that was impossible to break. How coincidental was it that after Konzen Douji had died 500 years ago, resulting in Son Goku's imprisonment, he had resurfaced again just 500 years later to _release _Son Goku from that stone prison and become his _guardian _yet again_?_

It was just one fuck too much of a coincidence.

Whatever the hell it was, he mused, as he licked his lips tentatively, Son Goku would be his this time. Once and for all. And nobody would stop him. The hauntingly beautiful combination of golden sapphire glinted eerily in the moonlight, and even more so as Homura smirked, burying one hand in his dark hair.

_Mine. _

****

_Heaven doth with us as we with torches do; not light them for themselves._  
- M. for M, Act i, Sc.1, _William Shakespeare_

****

Exhausted and completely worn out, Goku sighed, shifting slightly to bury his head in Sanzo's broad chest. And smiled as he felt Sanzo stiffen at the contact; closed his eyes as the golden-haired one stroked his back gently, lovingly. The young adolescent wrapped his arms around Sanzo's waist, and sighed softly as he felt Sanzo pressing his lips to his forehead.

_So this is love. _

He raised one trembling hand to Sanzo's chest, stroked it, marveling at the pale ivory skin of his guardian as he felt a mild wave of fatigue wash over him. Goku sighed yet again, a smile gracing his childish lips as he looked up at Sanzo; unquestionable and undeniable love all in his beautiful golden eyes.

"Do you love me, Sanzo?" Goku asked playfully, pressing his lips to Sanzo's neck.

Somehow, Sanzo decided, as he looked down at his golden-eyed nymph, those five words brought a sense of _déjà vu_. And in one way or other, looking down at his love brought an ache to his heart; a pleasurable ache, a whirl of emotions, of love. An indescribable feeling. He looked down at the boy, who was looking ever so beautifully sexy; it was all he could do to keep his libido from increasing any further.

The violet-eyed one sighed, and his lips curved slightly, ever so slightly, as he bent over to his charge, capturing the other's full, pouting lips in one hot, crushing kiss as he buried one gloved hand in those silken strands, marveling in the softness of the dark chocolate as he broke the kiss, only to nip teasingly at Goku's collarbone.

_Do I love him? _

Was it even a question anymore? Sanzo asked himself, giving himself a mental kick in the ass as he contemplated the sheer stupidity of the question. He gave a soft snort, and his hand traveled lower still from Goku's navel to seek a certain part of the beautiful youth's anatomy. A muffled moan was all he needed to know that he had indeed found what he had been seeking, and Sanzo smiled; one torn between love and mischief.

Even as Goku looked up at him between those silken bangs of russet, his big, citrine eyes oozing all but innocence and ardent devotion; though he did naught, Sanzo knew what it was to love - to love him, the golden-eyed angel. 

_To love Goku._  

Trailing one hand down his lover's delicate cheek, Sanzo brushed several stray strands out of Goku's face as he bent down to kiss Goku again; and moaned softly as he savored Goku, relishing in the taste of him, and so it was as Goku began to respond to the kiss with fervor. And as Sanzo continued to work his magic, he sighed. This was Goku, he thought. This was home. 

_This was love. _  

****  
_Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life._

- Joseph Conrad

****

"Is it time?"

That one question echoed through the quiet room, as one amber-haired god looked silently at his dark-haired leader from the bed. Said black-haired one did not reply; only remained tranquil as his mismatched gaze locked with the impatient green of his one-eyed companion. The other one – the one who had his dark, silken strands of turquoise caught in a tight bun - did naught, but kept his eyes firmly shut as he contemplated his quiescent surroundings.

"Are you sure about this, Homura?" the cerulean-haired one asked, a smooth, sharp inquiry that betrayed no emotions, his eyes opening slightly; ever so slightly as he met his comrade's gaze. "Should we not wait a bit more for the Heavenly one to awaken? After all, we still have to collect the _maten kyomon..." _But his words were interrupted midway by an impatient gesture from Homura.

The dark one in his billowing cape stood up, swiftly and silently, and with a swish of his hand, a sword of flame was brought to life in his powerful grasp as he motioned to open the door, his lips curving into a smile as he turned to answer his comrades' question.

"Yes," he murmured, a sly smirk gracing his futures. "It is time."

**** 

_Quel est amour? Quelle est punition? L'amour est la plus grande récompense de tous, et peut-être de la plus grande punition. _

****

Stirring in bed, Goku awoke to the cheerful melody of birdsong. Yawning widely, the citrine-eyed adolescent of eighteen raised an eyebrow at the absence of his lover beside him; well, Sanzo had probably gone down for breakfast, he decided, as he treaded slowly towards the shower, wearing a sleepy smile – and, here, Gokugurl would like to note; absolutely nothing else – and welcomed the feeling of the blissfully warm water trickling gently over his skin, the wetness of it.

_The warm wetness that had engulfed his skin when Sanzo had placed his lips to his neck..._

A fresh wave of crimson tinged Goku's face anew as he reminisced the amorous night before. He sighed happily, turning slightly pink as he looked down at the little bruises that Sanzo had left here and there, and felt the sudden tingle as he recalled Sanzo's lips on his knuckles, kissing the tender skin there softly.

_The gentle tingle of an amorous love, of a soft tenderness that he held for Sanzo in his heart. _

He smiled silently, happily, as he brushed back his silken brown bangs of hair. There was no doubt about it, he decided; somehow, yesterday, in the midst of that amorous night – he had fallen for Sanzo. Hard.

_But hasn't this happened before? _He wondered. Some time back, he had fallen for another lavender-eyed celestial; that one whom had looked exactly like Sanzo. The one who had promised him eternal love; the one who had promised to come back for him. But then...

He had this feeling that whoever it was, that someone had returned to him; returned his love a hundredfold in the form of one Genjo Sanzo's love. And that love, Goku thought, was worth waiting half a century for. For now, Konzen and Sanzo had merged to become one; Goku knew neither by the names of Konzen nor Sanzo. He only knew the two of them to be the two beings that he had loved most in his life; sacrificed the most for in his life.

Yes, Konzen and Sanzo were one in the same; two beings that he had loved, still love, and always will love. And even though he remembered nothing about the one named Konzen now; he still held an aching feeling in his heart for the hauntingly beautiful celestial; a powerful passionate love that he too held for Sanzo. He loved Konzen, yes, but the one that held more importance to him now was Sanzo; Sanzo and always Sanzo.

_I'm sorry, Konzen. _

"I'm sorry," Goku said aloud, coming out of the shower as he opened the door; but not before he sat down on his bed, one single, delicate tear trailing down his cheek. "I'm sorry because I can't love you. I'm sorry because I cannot remember any of you, any of the love we shared. Sorry because I can't love you now; for the one that rules my heart and mind now is Sanzo. I'm sorry..." He lay back, and buried his face in his hands, and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

Goku jumped, but not before he felt powerful arms encircling him and lips capturing his own in a callous kiss; rough, fierce, and genuinely possessive as he attacked Goku's lips with a ferocity that was Sanzo's, only Sanzo's. The lip-lock continued, lasted for a considerable amount of time until Goku broke the kiss for air. He turned around and smiled in relief at Sanzo, missing the flare of invidious anger in that amethyst gaze as he locked eyes with his lover.

"Sanzo, I..."

"Who?" The blonde snapped, taking Goku by surprise as he grabbed hold of Goku's shoulders roughly, near shaking him. "Who's that _Konzen _or what's-his-face? Tell me," he whispered dangerously, his voice laced with rage. "Tell me and I swear I'll shoot that fucking asshole to living hell. _Who the fuck is he?"_

Goku blinked at those words for a moment, let it sink in; and it was a few seconds before the realization dawned on him in full force. "You're jealous," he said in disbelief. At the awkward look of mild embarrassment that crossed the blonde's face, Goku assumed that what he said was true, and undeniably correct. "You're jealous?" he crowed, and launched into a fit of giggles as he doubled over, laughing. 

After he had gotten over the much laughable fact that his dear, golden-haired lover was jealous of a forgotten man, Goku snuggled up to Sanzo as silken arms brought him close in a warm embrace. Looking up, Goku pressed a tender kiss to Sanzo's neck. He smiled, and leaned against Sanzo's broad chest. "Why, Sanzo, I never knew you cared," Goku murmured playfully, but in his voice lay love for Sanzo that nothing could comprehend; could take away. 

"_Urusai," _Sanzo muttered, and even under him, Goku could make out the hint of embarrassment that was in his voice. He snickered, but not before nipping teasingly at Sanzo's bottom lip. "Somebody feeling jealous?" The violet-eyed one was silent, biting back his groans as the golden-eyed beauty continued to tease him mercilessly with his tongue. As that evil little tongue left him, Sanzo felt himself moaning quietly at the loss of the contact with his skin.

Goku climbed out of bed, and pulled on what remained of his jeans, and buckled it, before flashing a brilliant smile at Sanzo, dazzling the golden-haired one for a moment as the blonde lost himself in those hauntingly beautiful citrine orbs, wild with mischief and alight with excitement; but not before shaking himself out of his trance, frowning at Goku as he himself put on his pale beige robes. "We had better go down for breakfast, Goku; Hakkai's calling for us."

Goku smiled, and as he turned to go down the stairs, Sanzo could have sworn he heard a faintly whispered "Yes, _koi." _He heard the retreating footsteps down the corridor, and sighed as he tucked the Smith and Wesson in the helm of his robes.

And smiled.

****

_Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole._

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

****

**[A/N] **Okay, so I'm several hours late... -_-;; what the heck. And happy belated birthday to Goku! ^-^ _Otanjyoubi desu, _Goku-chan! *glomps a certain adorable golden-eyed heretic* Anyways, hope it was okay...see you next week, Gokugurl here has to cook tomorrow...bye... *impending doom ensues* _Oyasumi._

****

-**THANKS TO-**

**[aspara] **Mushy eh? That's my specialty ^-^

**[nan] **Yep, I do...don't you have it already? XD

**[Aki Rei] **Naughty girl! XD

 

**[Animegurl] **Please, all my chapters are sucky... T_T

**[gallatica] **Four words: I...am...NOT…TALENTED!

**[kamen] **Ayomak...wrong fic-lah... XD

**[jashuang] **Awh, jas, poor you :P

**[Astralkitten] ***blink* well...at least you can view it properly now ne? ^^;;

**[enervate] **Wai! I love the Goku layout! ^-^ Goku wa daisuki! -- I am NOT implying about the other Goku... ¬_¬

**[Heart] **You honestly like my writing style? You DO? *starts bawling* THANK YOU! *glomps Heart*

**[chris] ***snaps fingers* Dang! Another reader who figured out my plot...here's a cookie for you! ^-^ *throws cookie*

**[venedy] **O.O;; Um, yeah, okay, sure...chill! XD

**[mIcHi] **Well...god knows...

**[-karin-] **Oi, o-nee-chan, doko da? . Oi! . I'm typing this while I'm online...it's currently 12:44 AM... @_@ ha, ha...I wanna eat tuna and spinach casserole too! ;_;

**[CTFA (Crissania] **I'm your idol? *blinks* Waitaminnit...IDOL!? XD No, seriously, CTFA-chan, I don't deserve that! Really! I'm not worth idolizing after... @_@

**[labyrnth] **Well, thank you! ^-^ Lucky you for getting that _wonderful _Sanzo layout for your blog... 

**[crazzzybanana] **It was disturbing? Was it? *blinks innocently*

**[M-i] **Well, Goku is our local little blurcase...and an adorable one at that. XD And plus, _ore wa kawaii janai yo! _. 

**[Kenren19] **Ahehe..._wakarimas'! _^^

**[The Goddesses] **I trust this is the Goddess of Insanity? XD Thank you!

**[Astralkitten] **Hi 'gain! Well, here's chapter 4! =^_~=

**[Saiyuki-gal] **Jas says you worship me... O.o;; I hope it isn't true XD Here, your update! ^___^ *grins*

**[akasha_death] **Yep, I'm Malaysian ;)

**[Ewen] **Believe me, Ewen, God _does _know what time I go to bed XD Lemon? Oh gee, I'd get kicked off if I do...looks like we've got a major GojyoxGoku fangirl here huh? ^_~ Oh well...

**[MeikoChan] **XD Not asking eh...really? You love everythin' I've written? *blushes* Thank you...

**[Yami no Tenshi]**

**[nan]**

**[tensaispira] **Hard life huh? XD

**[dref]**

**[Star-chan] **...Oi! Sudah hilang mana nie!? XD

**[gsy_lover] **sure! Here you go! ^_^

**[Akasha] **Um...sorry? XD I don't know... Oh yes, hell, I read your fic long ago and I LOVE IT! XD It was one of the best SanzoxGoku fics out there; no wait, I rephrase that. One of the best fics ever! ^_^

**[Saya] ***blushes* aw gee, thanks...

**[Dalhallyns] **XD I...think you're the nth person who said I made them cry...was it that bad? Here, chapter four,...hope it satisfies you... ^_^

**[akasha_death] **Yep, I'm allowed. In fact, I'm drinking it now XD

**[Kenren19 – again]**

**[zion]**

**~THANK YOU~**

Love, 

Gokugurl,

7th April 2003, 12:30 AM.


End file.
